Do you ever just have one of those days? You feel like everything is just squishing you a little too hard? Pushing your buttons, making your emotions go crazy? I'm on day 4 of this feeling! I just want it to go away. It always happens when my daughter is sick, or when my husband is away - the walls just seem a little closer than the day before.
Chloe has been sick for a couple of days now, she was in the Children's emergency center on friday night, she's ok, she's going to be ok, but it just makes me tremble. It brings back old feelings of when she was in the hospital when she was a baby, riding in the ambulance at her side. It's an overwhelming emotion for me to even try to decribe, but it punches me in the gut and I feel like I can't breathe without tears forming. I keep hearing commercials for the children's hospital on the radio, and I feel like something takes over me every time - I just have to turn it off. Chloe really is ok, nothing a little medication can't fix, so why does this affect me so badly? I know the feeling is going to go away the better Chloe gets, so I really hope it's a speedy recovery. Thank goodness I'm the master at hiding my feelings! Chloe doesn't know mommy is sad, she just knows that mommy is so proud of her for being so brave, and that's the way I'm going to keep it.
I never knew having a blog would help so much, writing out my feelings is a truly wonderful blessing to have.